Saturday, September 20, 2008

Truth In Advertising

A chunk about Truth In Advertising

In the Addams Family movie series, one of Christina Ricci's most memorable lines as Wednesday Addams was when she inquired if Girl Scout cookies contained real girl scouts. They don't, of course; in western cultures cannibalism is a major taboo.

In America the German sausage known as Bratwurst is often shorthanded as "brats". Possibly because we're taught not to want things that are the "worst" unless they're incredibly bad movies. Wednesday Addams would no doubt be disappointed to know that Brats are not actually made from disobedient children.
on the other hand, squeamish men who are aware of what the name Johnson refers to as a slang term for a male bodily appendage are relieved to know that the entire line of Johnsonville sausage products, including their famously advertised Brats, contain not one speck of johnson. One hopes.

Along the same lines, the specialty dessert cake known as Lady Fingers are not made from fingers of either gender.
And the famous Twilight Zone "How to serve man - it's a cookbook" episode notwithstanding, the well known ground meat sandwich/sloppy joe sauce Manwich is not made from, or intended for use with, man. Though one does worry about how the Sloppy Joe sandwich originally got it's name...

Not all mislabeled products are cannibalism related. All mammals and many fish have teeth, and yet Tooth Powder is not made from powdered teeth. It is a dentifrice used for the cleaning of teeth. Likewise, a home handy-person attempting simple household repairs should be aware that toothpaste not only contains no tooth, but it is not actually a glue type paste, simply a dentifrice with a pasty consistency.

The reason this seems odd is that similarly named products are honestly labeled: corn starch is starch from corn, corn meal is also from corn, bone meal is made from ground bones. Garlis Powder and Onion powder and chili powder all deliver on their promises (yes, chili powder is made from chilies, not just an ingredient to use in making chili.) And really, is you buy a product called shark cartilage, what else would you expect?

The most egregious form of false advertising is mislabeling - claiming a product is something which it is not. If you order the Prairie Oysters you really should be aware that you will be given bull testicles. These are in no way related to the oyster. However,
a plate of oyster testicles would probably not be very filling.

That's not to say that someone somewhere won't try to sell you some.
We grow up being told that the very wealthy are gourmets and epicureans and have cultivated tastes for exquisite culinary specialties and "fancy foods".
This reputation is largely based on their having fancy names for the crap they eat.
James Bond likes to travel with a few tins of fine Beluga Caviar. It's Sturgeon eggs. Black fish eggs.
In "The Jerk" Steve Martin complains that Bernadette Peters has ordered a serving of Escargot and received a "plate with snails on it."
And animal rights groups have actively tried to ban or at least discourage the consumption of Pate Fois Gras, the mashed liver of a goose that has been fattened to the point of torture.
Of course the animal lover groups have also tried to guilt people about eating Veal, which is another code word, this time for Calf.
I don't get it. Lamb, baby sheep, we call lamb but we codify adult sheep meat as Mutton. but we eat Beef but need a secret password for baby beef? It just seems inconsistent.

It's not just the very rich that uses code words and foreign phrases to disguise their gastronomic outrages. Traditionally it is the very lower economic classes who developed ways to cook and serve Chitterlings or "Chitlin's". They rarely come out and say "fry me up a batch of pig intestines," but there you go.

Intestines are sometimes also alluded to as "natural sausage casings" because presumably describing sausages as "ground meet stuffed into guts" would be a hard sell. Just ask the Scottish, who have never achieved any degree of market penetration with Haggis since everyone knows it's mutton and oatmeal stuffed in a stomach and boiled.

At least with Haggis most people know what they're getting. American's have a habit of adopting foreign words and then misusing them. And the lexicon is flexible and words are, eventually, defined by usage.
Anyone familiar with authentic Japanese cuisine can tell you that not all Sushi is made with fish, and not all fish Sushi is made from raw fish. And yet over the years the word Sushi has begun to drift into being the American term for "raw fish".

Raw fish is also known as Chum, the chopped fish used as bait to attract sharks. Chum, however, is not made from buddies or pals. Wednesday Addams would no doubt be disappointed.

False or deceptive advertising is a very troublesome business practice, and yet sometimes perhaps we should be grateful that not all foodstuffs are accurately labeled.

Thing about that the next time you rustle up some Grub.

= Napoleon Park =

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1 Comments:

Blogger dmarks said...

Good one. I quote that Addams Family line a lot.

11:06 AM  

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